Jewish Mothers

MONA LISA*S JEWISH MOTHER: "After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?"


CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS* JEWISH MOTHER: "I don*t care what you*ve
discovered, you didn*t call, you didn*t write!


MICHELANGELO*S JEWISH MOTHER: "A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for
you the walls like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get
that schmutz off the ceiling?"


NAPOLEON*S JEWISH MOTHER: "You*re not hiding your report card? Show me!
Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!"


ABRAHAM LINCOLN*S JEWISH MOTHER: Again with that hat! Why can*t you wear
a baseball cap like the other kids?"


GEORGE WASHINGTON*S JEWISH MOTHER: "Next time I catch you throwing
money across the Potomac , you can kiss your allowance good-bye!


THOMAS EDISON*S JEWISH MOTHER: "Okay, so I*m proud that you invented the
electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"


PAUL REVERE*S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don*t care where you think you h ave to
go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"


ALBERT EINSTEIN*S JEWISH MOTHER: "Your senior photograph and you
couldn*t have done something with your hair?"


MOSES* JEWISH MOTHER: "Desert schmesert!! Where have you really been for
the last forty years?"


BILL GATES* JEWISH MOTHER: "It would have killed you to become a
doctor?"


BILL CLINTON*S JEWISH MOTHER: "Well, at least she was a nice Jewish
girl, that Monica.