Better believe, overlong films are a real pain
If brevity is the soul of wit, no wonder we have so many stupid movies.
Filmmakers don't know when enough is enough.
It used to be that cinematic diarrhea was most common during the Christmas season. Somewhere along the way Hollywood began equating long with important, and since the holiday season was heavy with Oscar-hopeful titles, we got used to sitting through long movies.
Steven Spielberg's Munich, at 2 hours 45 minutes, is a perfect example. At least it is a film with something on its mind, so I was willing to forgive the movie for my numbed posterior.
But things have gotten out of hand. Now summer movies -- so-called ''light'' entertainment -- are clocking in at more than 160 minutes, and I have to protest.
Not only is that too long for a movie that aspires to mere entertainment, but also excessive running times hurt these films artistically.
Be honest now . . . was there any earthly reason why Peter Jackson's King Kong had to be three hours long? (Twice the running time of the 70-year-old original Kong. ) It would have been a vastly better movie at just two hours.
The new Superman Returns is a butt-deadening 2 hours 34 minutes, a big chunk of that devoted to a giant f/x pig-out involving giant crystals threatening a yacht on which Lois Lane and her kid are prisoners.
And I say, who cares? Why drag it out? Why not advance the plot quickly and efficiently and get the story back on track? Why subject the audience to an unending chapter of Look What We Can Do With a Computer?
Superman at least had a plot. The same can't be said of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. This movie consists of 2 hours and 25 minutes of pointless running around, sword fights and battles with a giant tentacled creature called the kraken. It's not a movie . . . it's the world's biggest trailer.
And where did moviemakers get the idea that comedy is improved by stretching out the time between solid laughs? No, no, no. Woody Allen's best movies clock in at 1:30. If your script has a dozen good laughs, isn't it better to make an 80-minute movie than a two-hour one?
This is why It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963), with a three-hour running time, is minute-for-minute one of the unfunniest comedies of all time.
And apart from all other considerations, it's simply a matter of good showmanship. Leave your audience wanting more rather than wishing you'd stopped a half-hour ago